Kermit's Great Escape
by Lorikeet Shmorikeet
Summary: Hollywood's favorite frog must escape his awful fate as the subject of a high school frog dissection! Please read and review! Suggestions are appreciated! :)


Kermit's heavy green eyelids fluttered open. He stared up at the dark ceiling, trying to regain his memory. All he could remember was seeing two men in yellow overalls, holding big white nets. _"Looks like we've got a big one,"_ had been the last thing he heard before fainting in terror.He looked to his left, then to his right. He seemed to be in either a very small room or a refrigerator box. The floor beneath him was damp and had a faint dusty odor. Definitely cardboard.

_ Where am I?_ thought Kermit frantically. He pushed at the top of the box, which seemed to be held together with duct tape. After picking the duct tape for what seemed like decades, he finally burst through the lid breathlessly. He was stunned at what he saw. Boxes, tanks, and jars full of frogs were stacked in huge piles, one on top of another. These frogs were considerably smaller than Kermit, of course, and were quite startled at his appearance.

"Goodness Gracious..."

"Have you ever seen such a thing?"

"Mommy? Why is that frog so big?"

Kermit was too frightened and confused to be offended by their remarks.

"Ummm...hello everyone. Kermit the frog, here. I was wondering if anyone here knew where we are...?"

A large, grumpy-looking bullfrog in a glass tank spoke up, "We're in the back of a truck, kid."

Kermit nodded slowly, looking around. From what he could see, the frogs around him were even more scared than he was. The family in the tank next to him stood huddled together, shaking. Others in glass jars sobbed heavily, wiping at their eyes with sticky feet. The bullfrog stood in silence, his face creased with worry. Kermit spoke up again:

"Ummm...would you mind telling me...exactly where we're going?"

The cries of the frogs grew louder. A young one whimpered.

"Well...I guess you could say we're going to a school," replied the bullfrog shakily.

"A school? You mean with children?"

The bullfrog nodded. "Teenagers, yes."

Kermit frowned. What was everyone crying about? He loved kids! Kids were wonderful!

"Aww, c'mon guys, that's not bad at all! I'm around kids all the time, there's nothing to be afraid of, trust me."

Silence.

"What exactly are we going for? To sing songs? To do a puppet show?"

More silence.

"It's not one of those _Say No to Drugs_ assemblies, is it?"

Fifteen pairs of large, unblinking eyes stared at Kermit, smooth and shining like pool balls. Finally, the bullfrog spoke.

"Kid...we're going to be dissected."

Kermit froze. His head began to spin, and he felt faint again. Dissection is, by far, every frog's worst nightmare. Of course, the frogs are always killed before the dissection happens, but the thought of a bunch of grimy teenagers mutilating your body after you die is just too gruesome to bear.

"Di-dissected? But don't they send us to a lab first?"

The bullfrog sighed. "That's where were headed right now, buddy."

Kermit was speechless. The worst he had expected waking up that morning was mabye a little rain, or another toe stubbed on that pesky nail sticking out of the carpet. All he had planned for was a peaceful day, playing at his favorite pond and strumming his ukelele. All he had wanted was the warm feeling on his belly as he sunbathed on a lilypad. And now here he was, living his worst nightmare.

"What do they want from me anyway? I'm stitched together like a doll! Do I even have organs?" Kermit wondered out loud.

"Cardiac muscle or calico, it's all the same to them," answered the bullfrog, "they'll take anything we've got. Humans are savage."

Kermit could not believe it. He refused to believe it. He had been around humans his whole life, and now this? This was more than he could handle. He felt betrayed. He felt angry. And most of all, he felt scared. But now was not the time to fight his inner demons. Now was the time to start planning a way out of this. Kermit could say what he wanted about humans, but there was one thing about them he would always admire: they didn't give up easily. And neither would he.

"All right, then, gang," he announced, "I have a plan."


End file.
